Mrs. Meat-And-Potatoes Meets Chinese Food

Those of you who know me know that I am not adventuresome when it comes to food. I think that I'm eating on the edge when I put garlic and parsley in the mashed potatoes. Well, yesterday was a day for going over the edge. It started with the breakfast buffet in the morning. The buffet at the hotel was extremely busy at the time we came. I managed to grab a plate and start circulating the buffet. They had things at the buffet that I didn't even know it was possible to eat, much less for breakfast. I decided since it was my first time, I would stick with safe. I grabbed pineapple and breads.

When the four of us had gotten our food, we looked around and could find no place to sit. When a place would open up, the Chinese are simply much faster than we are and would quickly move in to the empty table. We decided to take our plates up to our room to eat.

The servers at the buffet, however, quickly realized our plight. Out of nowhere, a portable table was immediately set up, a tablecloth whisked over it, and chairs procured from other tables. I sat down, but could not pull up anywhere near the table because the metal bar underneath the table wouldn't allow me to get my legs underneath. I started to eat the pineapple. So far, so good. I then grabbed a roll and tried to butter it. How do the Chinese butter things with chopsticks? They had small serving spoons at the buffet which I had grabbed. I started to butter my roll with the back of a spoon. They must have been watching the Americans eat for entertainment, because suddenly, out of nowhere, they began to put knives, forks and spoons at our places.

Next a server came and told us that we could have an omelet. I think they know most Americans don't do rice for breakfast. Soon we each had an omelet on our plate. I am a hard-boiled egg fanatic. I can't eat a fried egg. Any amount of runny egg and I'm done for. Our omelets were runny in the middle. Josh managed to eat his. Tim, who likes fried eggs, ate his. I managed the outer edges of mine and David couldn't eat any. They had been so kind to make these omelets for us as a special treat; what were we going to do? Tim ended up having to eat my omelet and David's.

Several of the rolls I had were very good. One, however, that I had taken, was a spiral roll of very white bread and what I though must be cinnamon and sugar in the spiral. WRONG! I'm not sure what it was, but I took one bite and that was it. I had cereal without milk because the milk didn't look like ours. Josh had the milk and he said it was sweeter. Our guide tells us they get milk from the cows of Inner Mongolia. When I went to the buffet to get another roll, a server personally escorted me. They really bend over backwards to serve you. Our guide told us that the reason they do that and follow you around, even in the upscale shops, is it is considered very bad service if someone is not right there to help you and answer your questions.

After touring the Temple of Heaven and navigating Chinese toilets, it was time for lunch. We ate in a place that tries to serve you in more authentic Chinese style: on hard benches. We entered the restaurant and immediately the wait staff begins shouting. I'm not kidding. Yelling. This is very disconcerting to walk into a place and have someone start yelling in Chinese and you don't know what they are talking about, but you know it started when you walked in. We found out that the Chinese consider no restaurant to be very good unless it's noisy. If it's quiet, they won't eat there. Well, this place must have been fabulous. David couldn't hear a thing. Apparently what they had yelled was the number in our party and then another server will yell when he has a table available for that many. We told Angela to order for us. There were six of us in the party: our guide, driver, and the four of us. She asked us what vegetables we liked. Did we like broccoli? eggplant? I knew we were in for a different experience when she didn't mention corn and grean beans. We finally just told her, "just do what you think best."

Then the food began to come. And it kept coming. The Chinese put all food in the middle of the table and you all help yourself from it. I don't know how the Chinese stay so thin. We had individual bowls of rice and then the following dishes: Celery with Lotus blossom, pork in a sauce (it looks like worms) that you wrap in a square of tofu, kung pow chicken, a noodle dish that's made by taking noodles and eight small dishes of who-knows-what, and throwing it all together. A server comes to your table to make the noodle dish. He quickly throws the eight little saucers full of things into the noodles with as much noise as possible. Remember noisy, yelling, and clattering dishes mean good food. There was another dish of green peppers, eggplant and something else. Another dish had green peppers in a very spice sauce. You put this enormous amount of food on a plate half the size of one of our saucer plates.

Now it was time to eat. I was extremely thirsty, having run out of my bottled water, and the air here seems to make me thirstier. So my hands were very shaky as I tried to eat with chopsticks for the first time. It was not a success. Everyone tried to help me but I have never been good at small motor tasks. Sewing on a button challenges me at the best of times. Angela held out plastic forks from her amazing purse (she has everything in there to serve her clients) and she said, "I have this just in case."

Meanwhile the servers in the restaurant had already seen my plight and brought me a fork. My men at the entire meal with chopsticks.

I really liked the pork, celery and lotus blossoms, and the chicken. I ended up just putting everything on my rice. This is my Chinese version of a peanut butter sandwhich. When you're not sure what to do, just put the protein on starch.

We all enjoyed the meal very much.

We wimped out and had Pizza Hut for dinner. The beauty of pizza is it makes the Chinese and Americans all alike. You eat it with your fingers.