Cook's Privilege

Over the last decade or so, ever since the kids have become aware that the choice of food they eat is made by someone within our own household, they have sought to influence the type of foods that are put on our table. They have used such methods as bargaining, complaining, mini hunger strikes (sitting with a still-full plate long after the meal is over), and even horse-trading with a sibling ("I'll trade some of your hot-dish for that bowl of fruit").

This all reached a head on Monday, when we had a mixture of stir-fried foods (chicken and vegetables) served in pita pockets. David, after requesting that his food be served out-of-pocket, commented rather wryly, "You know, the height of civilization is when the meat is put here and the potatoes are put there." With this, he pointed to opposite sides of his plate.

Our self-proclaimed kitchen-diva, Deb, is aware of these techniques, mostly because she pioneered most of them on her own when she was a kid. So we've developed the concept of Cook's Privilege, which basically says, (s)he who cooks the meal gets to decide what the meal looks like. Since she handles the majority of the meals, she sets the agenda and the menu. Deb also has the final trump card. She does all the grocery shopping.

An extension to Cook's Privilege is this: The cook gets to lick out the bowl, or distribute the frosting-coated spatulas to whomever the cook chooses. I invoke Cook's Privilege whenever I make our malts; I get what's left in the blender. Depending on how the ingredients go together (and sometimes how thirsty I am), this can range from nothing to several ounces.

The cook also can experiment. We have been introduced to new dishes over the years, some really good, and some not so good, because Deb occasionally finds a recipe in a magazine or from a friend that she wants to try out. Sometimes she will change the ingredients to suit her taste.

I've done my own experimenting over the years and have discovered that just a little bit too much of certain ingredients can make the difference between a good malt and a great malt.

With all the chaos in our normally well-run household, the cook was changed for Saturday's dinner. Deb was running behind in many of the things she was wanting to do, so she assigned David the task of preparing dinner. David's assistant was Abigail "I'll-eat-anything-except-peas" Friend. The menu was already set: we always have pizza on Saturday evenings. David just had to make the pizza and get it in the oven.

This time, it was David who had Cook's Privilege. Another aspect of Cook's Privilege is the ability to snoop on the ingredients as the meal is being made. Abigail caught on to this really quick. Pepperoni slices, eaten one by one, are really good when it's getting close to dinner time. So are small wads of cheese.

We had, by far, the cheesiest pizza on record. I think there was extra sauce under all that cheese also. David made the pizza how he likes it and he likes extra cheese.

Now I think we need to introduce the concept of Cook's Curse. With all the extra cheese, the sides of the pan were very crusty from the cheese that had become fused to the pan, and that made the pan very difficult to clean. It took three days to get the pan clean. I think David got out of cleaning the pan this time, but Cook's Privilege may result in Cook's Curse next time.

Abigail really likes to help out in the kitchen. It will be interesting to see what happens there when she has Cook's Privilege.